Another Lindsay's Journal

6:33pm: Law school becomes increasingly satisfactory with every new guy I sleep with.

Not sure which is a function of the other, but I see some calculus in my future. 2-gether style.

If you were ever on the mock trial team with me and haven't yet declared your love for me, jump on the bandwagon. All the cool kids are doing it. Turns out all the cool kids are also snorting adderoll, but I think you can use your discretion on that one.

11:58pm: Yay for haikus

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	atragicmuse
Your haiku:	and i broke into a million pieces but alas it was priceless
Username:
Created by Grahame

Woo hoo that sounds SO emo. Where's Dashboard Confessionals when you need them?
Wait... is? Are? It's just one guy, is it still them?
For another example, "I'm going to see Nine Inch Nails!" "Dude, I love them!" So it's them, yes?

Screw it. Contracts exams tomorrow. Wake me up when they abolish the Uniform Commercial Code.

2:43am: Holy Shit
No good bout of procrastination is complete without a LiveJournal entry.

An update on my life, quickly:
Law school isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's not that much fun, nor is it the hardest thing I've ever done. At least, not yet. We'll see how bad things get in the next month; exams are four weeks away. A lot of the people rather suck; they're stuck-up, nerdy and socially awkward and have a heavy dependence on alcohol. No matter, school of information students are Awesome. (Yes, that would be the school of library science. They're the best.) I like the materials, and the professors are 50/50, so I'm going to reserve judgment as a whole until the end of the year. We'll see how it all goes.

21 now. I suppose I have been for about two weeks, but I just got my new license in the mail, and now it feels official. The first two weeks, I felt like I was playing in my mother's make-up, with my Under 21 ID with the paper stapled to the back. Steadily working my way towards alcoholism. Working on comparing the bars in East Lansing to those in Ann Arbor. Reserving judgment for now, other than to say ANYTHING can be fun with enough alcohol. Am a big fan of tequila, as it turns out. The things you learn....

Nick and I broke up. This was three weeks ago, but I still seem to be telling people because he, apparently, told no one outside of Evan (his suitemate) and, well, me, so it's been on Evan and myself to deliver the hot gossip. We're doing our best, but I have a feeling Evan is embellishing the story for his own amusement. I've heard that I ran away with an Austrian goatherd and that Nick impregnated an Alpha Chi Omega, alternately. I don't know WHERE this stuff comes from. Go figure. Am now working on killing maximum birds with minimum stones, or something like that. Maybe it's fish? Am I killing the fish? I don't want to go all Eileen Wuornos here... Is it a catch-and-release program? I'll get back to you.

Good luck to everyone I know who's applying for law schools right now, I know what you're going through and it's not fun. Wherever you end up, know that the school doesn't dictate your future or your happiness while you're there; it's going to suck no matter what. Why not have it suck for free, instead of paying $50,000 per year to have it suck? Just saying.

My ipod nano is amazing. I almost lost it in a sandwich I was eating today. It's so tiny I would never have known, but I bet it would have tasted DELICIOUS. How could it not? It does everything else brilliantly.

Making a trip to Grand Valley to supply my little sister with alcohol this weekend. I swear to god she and her friends are going to drink themselves to death on the first night. That's going to suck for me if I end up going to jail.

Kaitlyn got me pearls for my birthday. They are not only GORGEOUS, but her mother bartered for them on the Chinese black market. I LOVE it. Good luck Kaitlyn, and call me when you read your mail from IBM!

Okay, that's a little bit of my life right now, always more to be said but I DO have to study and sleep at some time.
Ciao for now.

Oh P.S. the Dresden Dolls are an AMAZING band.

4:17am: I'm a horrible horrible person for not updating in so long, at least according to Steve, but Steve, I've got two things to make you happy: I'm updating, and I was accepted to Michigan's law school today.

Graduation is this weekend, I'm going to be very fancy with my honors cords and whatnot. I wanted to go to the University convocation tomorrow, but alas, I have a paper due in 13 hours, and I still have 9-10 pages to write. Yet here I am, updating my livejournal for the first time in months. Funny how that works out.

Good luck with your little boobs Kaitlyn, I am wishing you cute little dresses and pretty bras and lots of visits from your imaginary British friends during your drugged state.

Up until this morning, I was trying to choose between two amazing scholarship offers, from Illinois and Indiana-Bloomington. Michigan's probably going to blow them out of the water, though. I am one very excited girl.

I broke my cell phone today, which is sad, and it didn't even happen in a fun way, like me getting fed up and throwing it at the wall out of frustration, as Nick pointed out. Oh well, he's going to bring me a temporary replacement tomorrow anyway, I don't know how well I'll cope without a cell phone for several days. I did break it full-out though, the top and bottom are no longer connected by anything, especially not by the phone wire which snapped in half. Yeah, it would have been much more enjoyable to have accomplished that in a big action sequence where I blew up and threw the phone and it broke into a million pieces, but alas, it was anti-climactic and not very satisfying, ultimately.

The most amusing moment of my evening thus far: walking to 7-11 at three a.m., and hearing some girl screaming into her cell phone, "For real, I'm like a hooker, standing on the corner!" Delightful.

Okay, that's my life in a very small nutshell for now, I'll catch up with you all soon.

2:40pm: Feminism? Haven't heard of it.
So the phone just rang, and when I answered, the caller asked for Sara. When I told him Sara wasn't home, he asked to speak with "the man of the house." I don't think he understood why I broke into a fit of giggles. Some people have no sense of humor.

10:38am: Stranger things...
While walking to work this morning, I found my path impeded by a five-foot wooden cross, complete with a crown of barbed wire hung on the top post. I don't know whether I find it stranger that someone built this contraption, or that they built it and later threw it in the garbage. Huh.

2:32am: Whore myself out for mock trial? Well, okay...as long as I can solicit the entire Daily Show crew as clientele.

I'm starting to wonder what Robert Novak did to upset Jon Stewart so badly. Not that it matters, really, but I wonder how one earns the nickname "douchebag for freedom." Just a thought.

9:21am: Why I LOVE my job....
This post will be at least ten times funnier if you've seen Super Troopers.

For those of you who don't know, I'm doing an internship with the Probation Department of the East Lansing District Court this summer. This involves writing pre-sentance reports (sending people to jail), meeting with probationers for their monthly reports (when the judge didn't send them to jail), and writing violation reports when the probationers screw up (sending people to jail that got off the hook the first time around). It's quite fun. But that's enough backstory, I think you're all up to speed.

One of the probation officers, Matt, had one of our friendly neighborhood police officers stop by a few weeks ago to let him know that one of his probationers, whose name is approximately Josh, was arrested on the Fourth of July. Normally, this would make Matt very angry, except for the circumstances surrounding the arrest. It seems Josh was driving around one night after he'd been drinking, which is a violation of three counts of his probation already, since Josh can't drink, drive, or violate any laws, much less do all three at the same time. So, naturally, Josh is pulled over, takes the sobriety tests, fails miserably, and is arrested. Enter the comic relief. When someone is arrested, they're taken to the station and they have all their pockets and whatnot searched. Josh is aware of this, having been through the process before. Unfortunately for Josh, he's got a bag of marijuana in his pocket. Some of you may have an idea of where this is going. So Josh, in his infinite wisdom, takes the bag of weed from his pocket and EATS IT. In case you missed it, Josh is sitting in the backseat of the patrol car as he's eating his bag of weed. Not all that surprisingly, the cops notice this and add it to the laundry list of charges that are piling up against the kid. Josh goes to the station, receives all of his citations, spends the night in jail and is let out the next morning. Now, in East Lansing, the police department, district court, and city hall are all located in one large building. The police station where he spent the night is only one floor above the probation department that he reports to every month. Fast forward to this morning around nine: Josh comes in to make his regularly scheduled monthly report, and promptly LIES about whether he had consumed any alcohol or drugs, whether he had been driving illegally, and whether he had had any contact with the police. Matt asks him over and over again, and Josh looks him in the eye and lies. So Matt gets really angry, and goes on this tirade about how Josh is disrespecting him and his country by 'celebrating' the fourth of July with a nice bag of marijuana. Matt then goes on to scare the living daylights out of the kid by telling him about all the 'ingredients' that people put in marijuana - rat poison, cocaine, all sorts of good stuff (I don't know if it's true, he was probably exaggerating a bit) - and even tells the kid that he's seen people die after trying to eat the drugs they've got on them instead of having the police find them. Then, Matt tells the kid that he's going to be sent to jail, and that he thinks Josh should just get taken off probation and given the maximum penalty (93 days in Ingham county jail for drunk driving). This poor kid is starting to cry, and the whole time he's in there with Matt, Matt has his door wide open and the entire office is silent, listening to them talk. We're also trying our best not to laugh, because we all know that Matt wouldn't send a 19-year-old to jail for three months, but the kid doesn't, and he's starting to go ballistic. The whole thing was priceless. Finally, the kid admits everything, and Matt basically says okay, seven days jail and daily PBTs for the next two months. I don't know whether the kid was really happy or pissed that Matt had been playing with his head, but I thought it was priceless. The best part is, this stuff happens all the time! If they started giving me a paycheck, I might think this was the greatest job ever. As it is, I'm working for free and paying for 12 credits at MSU for the internship. Ah well, it could be worse. Well, that's all for now, I have to go write a violation for our friend Josh. More tales from underground (my office is in the basement) to come!

7:18pm: Finally!
After doing very little besides study for nine months, I finally took the LSAT and got my scores back.

171? That'll do.

12:11pm: Curiouser and curiouser....

You're Alice's Adventures in Wonderland!

by Lewis Carroll

After stumbling down the wrong turn in life, you've had your mind
opened to a number of strange and curious things. As life grows curiouser and curiouser,
you have to ask yourself what's real and what's the picture of illusion. Little is coming
to your aid in discerning fantasy from fact, but the line between them is so blurry that
it's starting not to matter. Be careful around rabbit holes and those who smile to much,
and just avoid hat shops altogether.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

1:02am: Jebem ti andele
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

6:12pm: Deep thoughts a la Eric Stromer
At one point in a man's life, he is asked to replicate a hutch.
(Points ominously towards hutch)
We are going to replicate yonder hutch.

5:04pm: One reason my sister and I are polar opposites
Jamie: What do u get a guy for valentines day?
Me: You could get him your favorite cologne. (She urged me to get MY boyfriend HER favorite cologne for Christmas.)
Jamie: Why would I get him my favorite cologne hes a guy?
Jamie: OH I GET IT
Jamie: like my fave for guys
Jamie: k im going to the mall bye

I love my sister.

1:24pm: huh.
Residence life just sent me a pen.
I never cease to be amazed.

9:23pm: Perfect

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	atragicmuse
Your haiku:	a hundred miles from campus but only a few weeks with a good book
Username:
Created by Grahame

11:59pm: Words fail me.
I am awash with shame and humiliation. I may never show my face in public again. I am convinced there is a separate ring of hell set aside for me. Why? I addressed my french professor with the informal 'tu' instead of the formal, respectful and polite 'vous.' The true dynamic of this wholly rude and disrespectful action cannot be expressed in words. Alas, I fear no one understands my pain. Sigh.

9:27pm: It's Christmas time!
Kaitlyn, as much as I adore you, I won't be giving you a plasma tv for christmas. Maybe next year.

12:45pm: Silly roommate, trix are for kids.
My roommate likes to clean the bathroom. I don't.
She also likes giving me dirty looks as she walks by with lysol in her hand.
I don't think she understands the positive/negative reinforcement principle.
Maybe it's a cultural thing?

P.S. Happy Anniversary to me!!!

11:48pm: This can't be happening!
"I am the blue bunny and I am here to present you with an award to be an honorary homosexual."

12:26am: So I must write a paper for my english class on Othello.
Looking for inspiration, I look up old AP test prompts.
And now I want to spend my free time writing essays in response to them.
Who's the cool kid?

11:42pm: Me on myself
If we entered world war three, I would be Canada.

Think about it.

1:51am: Why must I be in love with impossibility?
Happiness is coming in steady doses this year.
I feel pretty kick-ass about my classes.
I get to be an attorney for mock trial.
My advisor says I get to graduate in three years. Only he is scared for me and thinks I will crash and burn after my first year in law school. Huh.
My two year anniversary is this weekend. That makes me very happy. I am proud of my emotional stability, even if I am crazy. Logan is my favorite; he makes me smile. There is lots of happiness when we are together. Speaking of which, I get to see him Wednesday...

I am getting very sleepy from reading too much Plato.

"This cannot be all that there is to life, because in our confrontation with an enormous and cold universe, there is something comical to the idea that we can really enforce our will on humanity." (not Plato)

"What is your greatest worry, because you seem to be worried all the time?"
I'm scared this constant ache in my eyes is more than just me being sleepy a lot.
The fact that my roommate is constantly re-organizing my belongings makes me nervous.
But the fact that she thinks every boy on campus wants to rape her makes me laugh.
'Darling, I think you want to play...'

It's bedtime, and it's been a pleasure sharing the better part of my evening here.
Bonsoir tout le monde.

10:55pm: Rebonjour! Tis a dark and stormy night, and I am deeply saddened because this altered my plans to see pirates of the carribean again. Jamie and I were going to make the trip after work, but alas, were frightened away by impending monsoons. Looks like it'll be cabin fever again tonight.

I found out today that I will be in room 521 of case hall next year. I also discovered I am inept at ordering goods from the computer when I received two of some books I ordered for this fall and none of some others I thought I had ordered. OOps. Close enough though, maybe if I have TWO books about ancient greece I will be twice as motivated to do my assignments. Maybe?

My favoritest new show is queer eye for the straight guy. Have you watched it yet Kait? If no, I have been taping them for you, and I think you will be very amused by it. By the way, do you get to paint your walls in your apartment or must they remain dirty white? You should do stripes, all the cool people are.

Yay! Logan is home. I must away.

11:37pm: It's been a while
You know I've been enjoying myself when I don't even make time for LIVEJOURNAL! How could I find it so difficult to tear myself away from sitting in the sun on the lake in Logan's boat with a good book? I love summer because I have time to read anything I want. I've read at least ten books already, and have been to the movies only four times. Who wants to pay to sit in a dark room with a hundred strangers when it's this great outside? I do still have to work though. Minimal hours, but sadly that means minimal pay. I have also become a one-woman day care for my little sister while my parents work and let me tell you this people: if you're considering breeding, spend a few weeks with a bratty seven year old constantly at your side. It could drive you to sterilization. The other day she screamed for the better part of an hour because I wouldn't give her any ice cream. Holy hell!
It's weird being cut off from civilization. I am beginning to feel quite claustrophobic and am anxious for summer to end. It's a good thing I'm kind of a loner, or I might go crazy.
I had to tell yet another person today that I don't like to be touched. I don't understand why they believe they have any right to attempt contact with me, but have assured them that IF I feel like having a stranger hug me, they'll receive a hand written invitation. Promise. Any day now. Hold your breath.
Oh, funny story, I started having seizures. At least I think you would call it a seizure. Apparantly I went limp, fel to the floor and began rhythmically shaking. I don't remember any of this though, because I blacked out and woke up not remembering what had happened or where I was. Good times eh? Good times.
I get a cell phone when I return to my mom's house. I like when people try to buy my love. I totally fall for it. She and I get along so much better now that I'm not a permanent resident. I talk to her more on the phone now than I did in person during high school. Almost. Mayhaps it will be a nifty picture phone and i can send pictures to miss kaitlyn (sorry kait, but cingular has no video phones. at least not that i can find.) I am hopefull.
Well I suppose that you're not all caught up but I grow weary of the internet and seek amusement elsewhere. See you later.

1:28am: Just finished my french homework that was due last week, and ready to start the actual studying for tomorrow's final. Okay, I'm a liar, I just don't feel like doing the homework anymore. I like how I managed to spend hours today trying to teach Kait econ 202 shit and I haven't begun my studying for 201 yet, nor do I have the motivation to do so. Meh.

I'm so glad to be going home soon. I think I'll go crazy if I have to spend much more time here. Too many crazy roommates and annoying professors, too much cabin fever. This campus makes me feel extremely claustrophobic. I'm anxious to move back out to hickville where I can feel detached from the general population again, with the exception of Logan, of course. Not looking forward to the fact that my family thinks I will be a full time babysitter for Kylee though, we'll have to work on that.

Fate has a way of saying "pay up, bitch." I managed to escape my room's delofting experience because sarah's dad came and I had a "class" to go to, but Liz skipped out on the whole loft thing so I ended up doing her share of their work. Okay, okay, so I just kinda held up my arms and unscrewed things while Ryan did most of the physical labor, but it still involved my time and energy.

It might be french time..I'm not sure yet. Je suis la jeune fille! Then again, it might be time to talk about how me and Hal Sparks are running away together to our secret pleasure palace, leaving only to make trips to the Queer as Folk set. French, you say? Okay french it is. Bonsoir tout le monde. Bon chance.

5:51pm: So happy
Forget Henry Rollins, I've moved on to George Carlin. Why?

"When it comes to BULLSHIT...BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT... you have to stand IN AWE, IN AWE of the all time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it, religion has actually convinced people that there's an INVISIBLE MAN...LIVING IN THE SKY...who watches every thing you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten special things that he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry for ever and ever 'til the end of time...but he loves you."

Sigh....do you think he would be afraid if I moved into his backyard? He would probably tell me to fuck off and that would be hot. Yayyyy.

5:40am: Spinning....ouch
Yeah, I think it's hot the way I can't sleep. I really like how because I slept all day yesterday I can't sleep at all tonight after having more alcohol than I thought my body could handle so I get to be fully awake for every second of spinning torture. It's also hot the way I will probably have a hangover because apparantly you can't get water after the caf and sparty's are closed. You can get pop, but not water. Grr. So you can tell how much fun I am having now. My room seems so small without the loft now... I don't like it. I used to be so far away from my roommate and now every time I turn around it's like "Hi, hi, hi, hi! What are you doing now? Or now? Or now?" I'm sad, this is the only time I think I've not gone away for the weekend and not had a visitor come see me. It's weird, I feel lonely. Hmm. Well, I think I probably ought to try to sleep again soon, so long.

4:18pm: Klämmer jas rätt?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This is why people have aneurysms.

My favorite quote of the day: "I watch a lot of tv, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what's really addictive? Heroin."

Catcha later.

11:41pm: Sigh...twenty three hours and counting...why can't I just go to sleep now and wake up tomorrow night? Oh, right, I don't sleep. I forgot.

I am so impressed with myself. I managed to convince my family there is no logical reason to come home on Easter weekend. This is more difficult than it sounds when your family is catholic (full body shiver). I will have to go home for the summer, unfortuantely. Damnit, why couldn't they have given me that job so that I could stay here? I need money sooo bad. I need a lot of things. At the moment, I need to go do my french composition. Maybe that will help the time pass until tomorrow...ahhhh, still twenty two hours away...but I want it NOW! ♪I want today, I want tomorrow, I want to wear them like braids in my hair and I don't want to share 'em...♪ I want to do homework now. Okay that's a lie, I am going to do homework now. Until next time.

1:51am: Skittles, the breakfast of champions.
I'm so proud, I only updated once yesterday! Hey, don't make fun, I'm an addict and I can't just quit cold turkey.

I scored 54¾% on the classic 400 Point Purity Test!

Take the test here!

That's all? Ugh. Now I'm disappointed.